Pass the F.U.D.G.E. - Today's ingredient is DOUBT

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Today I am back to offer you some more F.U.D.G.E…Those of you who read my social media may already know that this concept of F.U.D.G.E. means Fear, Uncertainty, Doubt, Guilt,chat and Exhaustion.

Meet DOUBT, the D in F.U.D.G.E.. DOUBT needs little definition. We know it when we feel it. Uh-Oh’s. Hesitation. Sinking feelings in the pit of our stomach. 

DOUBT is looking for playmates, to bolster its own power. DOUBT is enlisting Fear, and Uncertainty so it can bloom its way into stopping you or at least interfering with where you are trying to go or what you are trying to achieve. These F.U.D.G.E. ingredients are opportunists: they combine forces to get in our way.

My job today is to provide some ways to counter DOUBT so you can continue the DOUBT (The DO).

The thing about DOUBT is that no one ever wants it. No one has ever invited DOUBT to join them in an important decision or a pivotal time. And we sure encounter decisions and pivotal times don’t we, whether we are navigating healthcare or changes with aging, or planning for our futures. Plates of F.U.D.G.E. are everywhere.

DOUBT is the squirrel in the street.

DOUBT is the squirrel in the street. You’ve seen them: you are driving down a street, you spot a squirrel, and they dart out in front of you. Then they face one way, then the other, frozen in fear - and then not. They change their stance, left, no right, no, left. A good number of us will apply the brakes in response to give the little fella a chance. Not everyone does. Not everyone, and certainly not the world gives a lil squirrel a fighting chance. Do you want to be the squirrel in the street, or have direction? Direction is the antidote for DOUBT.

Direction is the antidote for DOUBT.

Sometimes the DOUBT is good. Remember, each of the ingredients of F.U.D.G.E. (Fear, Uncertainty, DOUBT, Guilt and Exhaustion) serve a purpose. They can each pop up to protect us.

Take Fear, for example. If we encounter a snake we may immediately recoil, gasp or scream. Our automatic response is protecting us. Whether it’s full-on Fear or just the sense of, we are protecting ourselves. Fear has a job to do.

Uncertainty, another ingredient, has a job, too. It has us pause, re-evaluate, look for clues and information. The trick is to not get mired down the less-than-positive parts that F.U.D.G.E. has to offer. 

In professional work with F.U.D.G.E. I talk about becoming aware when we are using too much of an ingredient, our mix or balance can be off. Every baker, cook, and chef must make accommodations or substitutions. They must be flexible. So must we, in healthcare navigation, or care scenarios, or Solo Aging. We must manage our emotions.

In instances where DOUBT creeps into our lives it can be signaling that we need more information, or input. That is why many folks seek out my help in consultation.

Am I doing this right?

Is there anything else I need to know?

Do I have what I need to get the outcome I want?

The first thing many folks do when they realize DOUBT is present is to look for affirmation. Just as a small child will look to a parent or adult to see if what they are about to do is OK, the child is seeking affirmation from the more experienced adult. 

I meet plenty of folks whose DOUBT is present, or even overbearing. Together we find ways to acknowledge this intersection and move on into solution.

That’s a fine prelude to one of my favorite mantras: “Out of the Problem and Into the Solution.” Yes! Don’t you want to live there, in Solution, with me?

What is DOUBT telling you?

•  Get information - you would not be questioning if you knew all you needed to proceed.

• Limit negative thoughts - Either don’t let them in, or if you recognize their presence do your best to extinguish them. Remember, you control what gets in and stays in, right?

• Replace DOUBT with certainty - How do you attain certainty?

When we leave DOUBT we can gain direction.

I love this image. It’s in my Forever Folder. Do you see your marching orders within this image, your Call To Action? It’s in the first two letters, the “DO.” 

DO, as opposed to DOUBT

DO, as opposed to DOUBT

DO some research. Further your knowledge, further your confidence.

DO talk with others to gain their experience, and begin to uncover pitfalls and potholes.

DO ask questions, about everything. Understanding and information are your ticket out of DOUBT.

DO speak with a professional, someone who can offer tried and true information. I am here to help you learn the Lay of the Land, and How Stuff Works, explore options. Quite simply, I am a F.U.D.G.E. remover.

From the DO comes the direction.

From the DO comes the direction. Get the information you need and leave DOUBT in the rear view mirror.

There’s more F.U.D.G.E. to come (F, U, D... G!) in this series and in our lives. It is how we react to it that counts. How we meet it, and what we learn from it (this is me reminding you that this is opportunity).

If ever I may assist you or someone you encounter with The F.U.D.G.E. of healthcare navigation, caregiving matters, planning for aging or the challenges of change I invite you to contact me. We can turn DOUBT into Do and find direction.

Got too much F.U.D.G.E. (Fear, Uncertainty, DOUBT, Guilt and Exhaustion) on your plate? Discuss your concerns, gain direction, find out how we can get you where you need to be! Book a consultation here or while visiting nancyruffner.com