Only 8% Report Being Happier During the Holidays?

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I read an email subject line and could not stop thinking about it. 

“According to a report from the American Psychological Association, only around 8% of people report feeling happier during the holiday season, while a larger portion experience increased stress during this time”. 

That 8% bugged me. I went back to look for it, and of course I had deleted the email, and (of course I) couldn’t find it. I searched online for the 8 %-statistic, and nope. But what I did find again and again, was a plethora of articles and statistics about stress during the holiday.

Yeah, we know. Not gonna think or write about that (I see that nod, that slight smile. We’ve had enough. It could be argued that it stresses us out reading another helpful article about stress!).

I’d rather dive into acknowledging our humanism and our humanity. It could be about our propensity for stress, but

Methinks it is our expectations.

Those helpful articles discussed another survey ( American Psychological Association again) that the demands of the holiday season can run rampant over the celebration itself. Nearly nine out of 10 Americans anticipate excessive stress during the holidays. 

So we then anticipate? Has this become a ‘Should’? Part and parcel? Do we plan accordingly, or even dread? I think several folks do.

I found some temperance in one article. “The holidays are just days. They shouldn’t be as disruptive as people think.”  “Our culture and the media set that expectation, and with a high bar. It’s like we’re supposed to be this ideal cross between Norman Rockwell and Martha Stewart. We have to have this incredible meal for family and friends, and everyone is supposed to have a wonderful time.” 

But life simply may not render that all on the desired day.

In reality family members don’t always get along. The turkey is dry. The kids are unruly.  Your significant other did not order a Lexus nor was one in the driveway with a big bow on it. (In fact, who does that?).

UCI Health psychiatrist Dr. Jody M. Rawles said “It helps to remember that days between Thanksgiving and New Year’s Day are not typically life-altering events.”

“In reality, June is usually considered by the psychiatry community to be a more stressful month than December,” Rawles explains. “June usually carries more monument al changes — people get married or move or graduate and have to find jobs. 

In my reading travels I found that someone had added some holiday time humor: 

“Of course your family pushes your buttons. They’re the ones who installed them.” 

I would ask if we indeed are even more stressed because society and media has installed false information, or at least our perceptions are faulty. Certainly we are impressionable.

WHO is telling us we are or should be stressed (besides everybody)? Log in, turn on a tv, listen to holiday music or piped-in music in the stores). Holly Jolly, Fa La La, we gotta roast chestnuts and rock around  a tree... Talk about programming, sheesh!

Looking for a way to approach, enjoy, endure, or restart your holiday approach?

Whether it is motto or credo I can share with you the single best piece of advice I have for holiday seasons:

Keep your expectations low so you're Delight Meter can go high.

You don't need me to lay out all the ways you could do differently in approaching this holiday season. Many articles have been written about this and they are easily available to us all. You have social media skills (because you're reading this or watching this) so look some of them up and take whatever advice seems right for you. Or, decide to try something new.

Perhaps all those articles exist because so many people need them? Ever think about it that way? You're normal. In fact, I'm in there with you. My holidays are not what they used to be. 

While my holidays are not what they could be here is where I can make a difference in my Enjoy-o-Meter (there it is, another made up word. Like it?). I can build my holidays, schedule, and attitude. I can create, and yes, I can maneuver. (The cool part is that it can be on my terms and selfishly I kinda like that part).

I'm not in this segment belabor holiday weirdness and navigating tricky or dysfunctional gatherings. You don't need me to do that because it's all outlined in helpful articles and we have countless TV movies to depict that. I think our job is just to realize when we are there, when stress approaches, and to make decisions about how or whether we let it hit us.

There is a saying attributed to Abraham Lincoln (but there is no evidence that he actually said it):  

“Most people are about as happy as they make our minds up to be.” 

Some people want to endure or ensure calamity during holidays. It's their M.O. You may have seen these kinds of people, those who are invested in remaining in the problem (we see that in healthcare too). They love a good swivet. Gee, if nothing went wrong then they'd have nothing to lament or commiserate about. 

I'm not sure I understand why that is but I sure see these kinds of folks. I can let them be,  however I am a person who is affected by negativity or moroseness (that one really IS a word, I looked it up), and I tend to move away from that. Again, there is a choice about who I want to be around just as there is a choice to pursue or dwell on the negative. 

During the holidays there are plenty of choices:

Gather with friends  - or not

Attend a religious service  - or not

Honor a tradition  -or not

Travel - or not

And so on.

For me, I do need to remain mindful of whether my ‘nots’ are healthy. By that I mean I run it past a filter that I was taught to use when making big decisions, one that applies to many of the day-to-day considerations as well. When it’s Big Decision - Action time, and for life-altering stuff, I was taught this simple question: 

“Are you movin’ away from, or toward?”

It can be lightly applied here, to consider whether your ‘nots’ are healthy, are the best choice, or to spur you consider your other options. You might also consider the reasoning behind the whys or why nots.

Me, I'm going to focus on the good, what's right, the Delights. Perhaps observe some traditions. I will seek out fellowship opportunities and times of reverence and peace.

How we spend our holidays hold options and choice we can make. That notion alone is empowering.

That statistic about eight percent of people feeling happy during the holidays? I wonder if they considered their options and power before responding, for I believe that we can influence our own outcomes. 

I am with Abe! We do have the power to contemplate and to decide how happy we can be. With that, we can each set our sights on being happy, or at least pleasant, and certainly ever-grateful during our holiday seasons. 

Have it your way, and I am wishing you some reverence, and peace.